When I was born my left eye was completely paralysed. My eyelid was permanently shut and they thought it would be like that for the rest of my life. Then some specialist bloke realised he could graft a muscle in, like a bionic eye. So I had 5 major operations between the age of nought to 6. They fucked up the last one and I went half blind. I can kind of see. I can judge when I hit something but that’s about it. They made me wear this eye patch on my eye for a year, saying, ‘Oh, well, it’s just got lazy through all the operations’, which was crap because they damaged it. The first operation I had, I was just learning to speak, and apparently I said, ‘what do I got?’ I didn’t know. I woke up and I had this huge thing on my eye, and according to my parents I just doubled and started crying.